Finding hope…
Hello February!
Normally, I love January, it is my favourite month (and not just because it is my birthday month), but I love the energy of the new year because it feels like anything is possible. I do not buy into the notions of resolutions, but I very much believe in intention and goal setting and what better time to do that!
For the last several years I have had my own little private new year intention setting ceremony, it involves lighting candles, burning beautiful smelling oils, meditating, and trying to get into that space under the noise of my chattering brain, to discover my desires and goals for the year ahead. While I’m in that space of zen quietness I also let my word for the year find me (this year’s word is focus), and then I make sure to write it all down in my journal and close with an enormous amount of gratitude for the previous year and the learning that came along with it.
That feeling of newness and calm usually lasts me a very long time. However, this year, it lasted me all of 3 weeks and one month into our 3rd lockdown, I began to feel the effects. Let’s just start by saying that this lockdown has been HARD for a lot of people. Through January, I saw client after client who was so fed up, tired, on edge, fearful, and feeling the severe January blues. My heart ached for their suffering, but I continued to do what I do well and showed up for them every single day. Although, towards the end of the month I started to feel the weight of that suffering myself and my patience grew shorter and my mood grew darker, the last few days of January were not a great place for me.
I don’t mind accepting the natural dips of life, it is a part of the whole experience, but I also have to take extra care of myself because I have a responsibility to my family, friends and clients to be in a place where I can hold them safely. When I noticed my foul mood growing, I took some of my own advice and went for long quiet walks, sought out the silence I was desperate for, prayed, meditated, and rested. It took a few days, but I gradually began to feel better, then a few days ago I went for a midday walk to clear my head and I realised that I’d finally found it again…hope.
I could literally smell faintest scent of spring, the air felt a few degrees warmer than it had, and the ground beneath my feet was not as squidgy as I’ve grown used to!
I know that lock down is not over, children are still not in school, people are still suffering, but amidst all of this I can still find hope that brighter days are ahead. As the dark fades away the light will come, the earth will awake, and we will overcome.
One day at a time…
Wishing you all a blessed February!
Grace & peace,
Jamie xx
