Alone in the crowd

As a counsellor, who happens to suffer from anxiety herself, I can understand how much effort it can take to remain in control of your emotions all the time and how quickly it can all fall apart.  This weekend, I had a lovely weekend away with some girlfriends from university, it was amazing full of laughs, chatting, relaxing and just genuinely enjoying each other’s company.  The morning we were due to leave I had an email that brought me to a part of my life that I find a bit difficult at the moment.  You know that thing, the one thing in life that just does not bring joy and takes so much work and effort to remain your most authentic self? yes…that thing.  

Suddenly I was alone as familiar anxiety washed through me, in the time it took me to read one email, the past 3 days of pure enjoyment felt like it was wiped away and I felt completely alone while surrounded by my closest sisters. I could hear them laughing and chattering away and I felt like nobody in the whole world could touch where I was in that moment.  Luckily, I was able to recognise it for what it was and was able to snap back quite quickly (after 5 minutes of tears).  It got me thinking about how quickly negative thinking patterns can take hold and the amount of damage that can be done if it is left cycling for long periods of time!

the good news…

The good news is that anxiety and negative thoughts do not have to control our lives, we can chose to break these cycles and move on with our lives.  Before I engaged in therapy and in self-care practices that work for me, my negative thinking cycles could last a very long time, even months.

It is much easier now but would I say I’m cured? NO, my own personal well-being is a continuous journey of trial and error, something that I am forever investing in.  However, I will say that I have control over my own thinking and I am able to recognise the signs that my body gives me when the anxiety begins to take hold.  I feel this all contributes to my ability to sit with people that are experiencing their own difficulties, in whatever form.

So, please, know that you are not alone, there are so many people out there that struggle with so many of their own demons, but there is life out of the darkness.  Maybe that is you right now? Maybe I can help? Don’t hesitate to get in touch.